Starting a new relationship can be incredibly thrilling; it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement, become entwined in someone else’s life and feel like nothing else matters.
While it’s natural to want to make the other person happy, you may find yourself neglecting what you want and need and overlook other parts of your life that are important to you like family, friends, career goals or hobbies.
To stay connected with your partner yet remain true to yourself, strive for a healthy balance. Both of you can stay invested in the relationship while still maintaining your separate interests and dreams. Keeping this balance will mean both of you stay content and fulfilled in the long run.
To ensure you stay true to yourself as well as nurture a healthy, loving connection with your new special someone, here are some tips to help guide you through this exhilarating journey.
Steps to Take Yourself:
1. Accept and Appreciate Yourself
The most important thing you can do for yourself is accept who you are and appreciate all that makes you unique such as your strengths, talents, hobbies, or interests. You see, when you learn to accept yourself, it gives you a sense of personal power which provides you with a strong sense of identity that you can bring into the relationship. And when you are comfortable with who you are you’re less likely to lose yourself in a relationship because you value who you are.
2. Maintain Your Boundaries
Know yourself well enough to know what you like and dislike, what you want and need and how you want to be treated. Let your partner know how you want to be treated and explain the consequences for disrespecting your wants and needs or transgressing your boundaries. Remain true to yourself and respect yourself enough to uphold your boundaries, no matter the situation or how easy it could be to give in and compromise on what’s important to you.
3. Continue to Socialize and Pursue Your Interests
It’s easy to get wrapped up in a romantic relationship at the expense of other areas of life such as friendships or hobbies but this is something that should be avoided at all costs! Stay true to yourself and keep spending time with family and friends and pursuing interests outside of the relationship.
Maintaining your relationships with friends is important for keeping perspective and helps remind you of who you were before entering into this new relationship (and who you still are). Keep pursuing the things that bring joy into your life whether that’s attending your weekly art class, going for a jog in the morning or scheduling standing coffee dates with your friends – anything that makes YOU happy! And encourage your new love interest to do the same.
Spending time apart will help keep your identity intact while still maintaining a meaningful relationship with your partner.
4. Set Individual Goals
Having individual goals for yourself and for the relationship will help ensure that each of you continue growing as individuals while still maintaining a strong connection between each other. Setting individual goals will help both of you feel more empowered within yourself and allows you both space where you can focus on your own passions without feeling like you are having to pull away from your significant other in order to achieve your goals.
5. Honor Your Needs
Being able to recognize and honor your own needs before tending to those of your partner will greatly improve the satisfaction in the relationship. It’s not just important for relationships but also in life overall that you honor your own needs first before trying to please others. This means taking time out for yourself when needed without feeling guilty about it or worrying too much about how your significant other might feel about it. Taking care of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs is key if you want your relationship (and life) to be healthy and balanced overall.
6. Spend Time Alone
It’s important not to lose yourself in the midst of a new relationship. Make sure that you continue with activities that bring joy, fulfillment, or relaxation into your life. Whether it be yoga classes on Monday nights or weekly trips to the farmer’s market – taking time for yourself ensures that you don’t rely too much on the other person for happiness and contentment.
Enjoy some solo activities each weekend. Give yourself a few spa treatments or read a long novel – whatever works best for you!
Taking time out also lets us reflect on ourselves and helps keep things in perspective so we can come back to our partners refreshed and ready love them even more deeply than before.
7. Check-In with Yourself Regularly
When you enter a new relationship, it’s important to take a step back from time to time and check-in with yourself. Ask yourself questions like “How am I really feeling?”, “What do I need right now?”, or “What do I want out of this relationship?” This will help keep you grounded and ensure that all decisions you make are what’s best for both of you.
8. Consider Counseling
Often, we enter new relationships without having cleared away the emotional residue from our previous relationship(s). Add to this unpleasant childhood experiences and other personal issues we may have, and it becomes difficult for us to receive the love we want (and deserve), have a deep connection with our partner and ultimately have a happy and healthy relationship.
Aside from this if you have lost yourself in previous relationships, there is a deeper underlying issue that needs to be worked through to ensure you don’t repeat the pattern in this new relationship. If you want some help with this, talk to a therapist or hire a counsellor who can help you resolve the underlying issue completely so you can move forward and be free to be yourself. (If you’re interested the Find True Love and Connection Program helps you achieve this.)
Steps to Take with Your Significant Other:
1. Slow Down
Resist the urge to spend every moment together after a promising first date. Get to know each other gradually. And more importantly have deep conversations so you can get to know each other really well! Put off making any major decisions until your relationship is on firmer ground.
2. Listen Closely
Your date may be wonderful, but they have weaknesses and quirks just like the rest of humanity. Pay attention to what they say and what they do and notice if there is congruence. Also discuss important issues like how you feel about parenting and managing money.
3. Have Open Discussions
When you’re a new couple, it’s easy to get caught up in the infatuation stage. This can make open and honest discussions about topics that may be uncomfortable feel particularly intimidating. While these may not always be easy conversations to have, they’re incredibly important and can make all the difference when it comes to growing a strong foundation in your relationship.
Also, taking the time to discuss anything that’s been on your mind with open communication can open doors of understanding and respect for each other, and this is key to a successful bond. Showing kindness, respect and compassion during these talks provides assurance that even disagreements can coexist with love.
4. Coordinate Communications
How many text messages and phone calls a day are you comfortable with? Negotiate a schedule that makes you both feel connected without becoming overwhelmed or feeling suffocated.
5. Seek Balance
Relationships are rarely completely equal. One partner may love the other more or have more influence. However, you can strive for reciprocity and mutual support. Divide chores and other responsibilities. Pool your strengths and appreciate the contributions that you both make to your life together.
Starting a new relationship can be exciting and overwhelming, making it all too easy to lose sight of who you are in the process. This is why staying true to yourself is so important as it ensures that both your own well-being and your relationship stay healthy.
Setting boundaries, prioritizing time for self-care, and investing time into outside connections are all ways to stay independent while still showing mutual respect and growing together without feeling suffocated. If you keep these tips in mind as you enter into a new relationship, it will help ensure that things stay balanced, satisfying, and healthy between the two of you – and there is a greater chance the relationship will last!
